Category Archives: Humor

A Neck Brace Experience

neck

So I hurt my neck a week ago and is was painful to the point that I wanted to scream each time a spasm hit. Note: I only screamed half the time. After the first day the spasms subsided for the most part, provided I didn’t make any sudden movements or do anything strenuous. I didn’t like the pain so I decided days 2 and 3 I would wear a neck brace to limit my movement. I learned a few things….

First, people are not afraid to ask what happened when wearing a neck brace. I could have two black eyes and be bleeding and most people would not say a word, but a neck brace brings “what happened?” Secondly, people are very nice if you are wearing a neck brace. During my two day experience I had someone open a door for me, offer me a seat on the subway and let me go ahead of them in a line. Not just any line, a Duane Reade line! Amazing! New Yorkers can be very kind people…if you are wearing a neck brace.

What I wasn’t ready for though was the question “what happened?” Since nothing really triggered it I was at a loss. I should have had a good comeback. After a little thought I’ve come up with three should this happen again. Note: I really hope this doesn’t happen again.

3. You should see the other guy, he’s in a wheel chair.

I find this one a little weak and also unbelievable, but hey, better than I had even if it would just bring a chuckle.

2. Plane crash

Again, not very believable, but less likely to be questioned.

1. Fell off the stage during my encore

This (in my head) was the winner. Again, maybe next time…

Advertisements

Elvis Is Alive and Dead, Again

e

This past weekend I was dressed as Elvis, pushing an empty stroller. Remember, this was Halloween, it’s not like I’m Nic Cage. The empty stroller was because it was decided as an afterthought; hence I was trying to catch up with my group (and son).

With stroller in tow, I only had seven blocks to go. I enjoyed the first “Hey Elvis, forget something?” joke that was hurled my way, but three in one block was getting old fast. I picked up the pace. I was in a hurry as I arrived at a stop light. I contemplated crossing against the light, thinking I had enough time. Then I took a second to think about it. What if I miscalculated? My pending obituary…

Man, dressed as Elvis Presley (or Nic Cage) died crossing the street on Halloween night. He was wearing sunglasses and left behind an empty stroller.

This is sad (maybe pathetic) on many levels. I decided to wait for the WALK sign.