Can I Put Ketchup On My Italian Sausage? Mailbag is back!

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Check out the full mailbag at OWR, read an excerpt below:

Who had the best NBA draft, which team did the worst? I’m a New York fan, so please don’t say the Knicks. 

Well, best has to be Minnesota (good job not screwing up the number one pick) and anyone in Philadelphia who likes the idea of “Triple Towers”, because you know, in today’s game that has to work. Most puzzling was Boston, I know Danny Ainge at one point assembled a championship team by trading “assets”, but what he is acquiring look more like lifelong role players versus “chips” to acquire more talent. Worst, yeah it was the Knicks. Two other very interesting subplots are how does Kobe feel about the Lakers not drafting a big man and instead going with a long-term potential Bryant replacement? Please deal Kobe to Cleveland! Also, what is going on with George Karl and DeMarcus Cousins? Was there a secret meeting when Stern left the NBA and everyone agreed the Kings would be the new Clippers? If so, well played NBA execs, well played.

I’m standing in line (to see the Seinfeld set in NYC) and the guy next to me has a “Good Morning Vietnam” ring tone each time he receives an email. Should I be scared?

My guess is this is what happens. In 5 minutes he will begin looking visually anxious and impatient. In 10 minutes he will begin quoting Silence of the Lambs. In 15 minutes expect a political rant. In 20 minutes there is a 50 percent chance he is going to stab someone in line. Yes, be scared.

Someone I’ve known for years just put ketchup on his Italian Sausage, I didn’t say anything, but I should have, right? 

You are no friend if you just stood there and let that happen. You have to at least acknowledge this happened; it shows you cared. I keep my Italian sausage simple and only allow peppers, onions and mustard. Some would cut my hand off for adding mustard. This is why I eat my Italian sausages alone. When I do eat Italian sausage in public I expect people to comment on my atrocity, and that’s just mustard, I’m no monster putting ketchup on my sausage. You should apologize and go forward I suggest your friend eat his sausage in private.

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About Pulp Scribbler

The Writing of David S. Grant View all posts by Pulp Scribbler

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