Smells Like Bret Michaels


I guess it was only a matter of time. Bret Michaels is selling cologne named Roses and Thorns. You can pre-order now (apparently you get a CD also with your purchase).

The press release says, “Let your reputation of smell good proceed you, get the cologne that both men and women love.” Oh, that sounds lovely. Wait, it gets better: “Make your perimeter excite and ignite the senses. An exhilarating scent with a mysterious kicker…leading to sexy results!” What is this “mysterious kicker?” I’ve got a few guesses…

10. Donald Trump’s “secret sauce”
9. Melted bandanas from the 1992 Flesh and Blood tour.
8. Leftover cocaine from C.C. Deville’s nineties stash.
7. The tears of Rock of Love contestant Daisy.
6. Each bottle contains one strand of Bret Michaels’ fake blond hair.
5. Two words: Dipped Penis.
4. Leftover beer from the “I Won’t Forget You” video (the one where Michaels shows his tough guy side, throwing paper cups of beer at a brick wall).
3. An STD
2. A mixture of sweat from Michaels and Bobby Dall cowboy hats and perspiration from Rikki Rocket’s court appearances.
1. Awesomeness

Check out the trailer and more at



About Pulp Scribbler

The Writing of David S. Grant View all posts by Pulp Scribbler

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